No-one can do nothing for very long. In every moment, our creative energy is moving through us, urging us to do something. If we spend too long doing nothing, we kind of “turn off”. Except that’s not what we’re made to do, so it’s an unpleasant feeling. It feels like something is dreadfully wrong. That’s called depression. Go deep enough into this and you stop wanting to even live.
Toxic Can Be Better Than Nothing
It’s way better to do something meaningful than meaningless, and something pleasant than unpleasant. It’s better to do something that helps you learn than something that doesn’t, something that builds a better future for you or others than something that doesn’t, and something that earns you money than something that occupies a lot of your time without leaving you a way of paying the bills.
That said, anything, anything, can be enough to keep us away from depression or suicide. Anything at all that gives us an outlet for our energy. Depression just happens if we stall in that.
I’m not saying you should never do nothing though. Sometimes these low periods are necessary. Sometimes they are avoidable but still better than keeping doing things that are really bad for us, for our bodies or for our souls.
It’s better to be lonely for short periods while you’re transitioning your social life, than to stay in toxic situations. However, being totally alone for very long periods would drive anyone but an autistic person to suicide. A toxic relationship could keep you alive, like rotten bread.
In the same way, it’s better to do nothing for short periods while you’re transitioning your use of your energy, than to remain in a toxic situation as to your use of energy. However, being totally inactive for very long periods would drive practically anyone to suicide. A toxic situation like a bad job could keep you alive, like rotten bread or a bad relationship.
That doesn’t make a bad job, a bad relationship, or rotten bread good things, though. None of them have a place in the life of a conscious person, someone who attempts to live deliberately. At best, they exist as emergency fare, to keep us alive while we fight to get ourselves to a better place. If our reasonable expectation is to never have anything better, it’s better to commit suicide.
The Manipulation Of Our Creative Energy
We’re trained in schools to use our creative energy in a certain way. We are manipulated in various ways to use it all in work or school, and if there is no useful outlet for that energy, it’s given a useless outlet; so long as it involves your control by an outside force, it’s all good.
Things like television, football, and fashion use up the rest of that energy. While people would rebel if they were given much longer hours (they need to be acclimised to it slowly, like lobsters in a cooking pot) they can be persuaded to use their energy in useless occupations in their free time.
The word “free” time in itself points to their slavery. I don’t have a job – I’m always free! I just earn money when I feel like it and do other things when I feel like it. Jesus, this stuff is hidden in plain sight. People deny they are slaves yet readily accept that they have no “free time”!
School and conformist culture teaches you to get a job and not learn to put your energy into things that would make you free – financially or otherwise. It teaches you to use your free time, your non-slave-time, on things that won’t threaten that situation. You can watch football, watch movies, play games, whatever you like, so long as you don’t one day decide to tell your boss that s/he is paying you a miserable fraction of your fair share.
You can see this softness in the eyes of slaves. They have their interests, they might be cool, maybe hipsters or fashionable or ambitious, but they don’t have any fight left in them to shake off having a boss. They have their principles, until their boss tells them to act against them. They have their desires in life, until their boss tells them what’s in store for them. Soft. No fight in them at all.
And I like softness in some cases. I’m a feminine guy, I like to be soft and gentle when it’s appropriate, and I would sure *like* not to have to fight the status quo. But that softness in those people’s eyes… it’s grating. It’s hypocrisy. They’re saying everything’s okay when actually they really mean that they’re too weak to say something’s wrong.
Using Your Creative Energy
Recognise your need to do something with your creative energy in life, and observe how it has been funnelled into outlets which preserve the status quo. Remove your creative energy from those outlets. Sometimes you’ll need to create a vacuum in your life, and possibly risk short term depression or aimlessness while doing so. Sometimes you’ll be able to simply displace the bad thing directly with a good thing. Whatever you do, don’t keep your creative energy in a bad thing unless it’s the only way you could stay alive.
Normally, you’ll need to be brave and tear off the band-aid. It’s usually NOT the case that you need to remain in a toxic energy use situation to stay alive. Usually that’s just your fear talking. So don’t listen to it.
Usually, when you make the plunge new things come way faster than you expected them to, especially if you’re no longer clinging to the old. Try it. It’s so worth it; life is not worth living if we’re only living off moldy bread.
I did it and survived. So can you.