Reality, Alive
January 13, 2011
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February 1, 2011

Understanding My Past

I’m not sure what value there is in understanding my past. It often seems like an excuse to wallow in self pity. What I’ve found is that I’ve healed radically over the last few years, and I can’t quite make out a formula for doing so, apart from having the desire and following what seems to be your inner guidance.

I saw a person like I used to be, a while back. Such a weight hanging over his shoulders. Such a feeling of brokenness, I don’t know how to explain it.

Where did this pit of blackness come from? Where did it go? It seems like it vanished and was never that real in the first place. I want to move further into the light; it seems like I’m only standing at the dawn. But it seems like I don’t know anything more now than I ever did. All I really know is to keep moving towards That which I really am. If that makes sense.

It’s enough, though. What I mean is that I don’t know anything, and that’s enough. I know one thing, all I need to know. I know my centre. And all my actions spring out of that.

It’s when you complicate things that things get messy, I think, anyway.

I almost don’t want to deliberate over pain any more. It doesn’t seem therapeutic to me. What feels healing is to bring my Love into the world, and let the rest of it be left behind.

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  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Elleke Verhoeckx, Sophia Gubb. Sophia Gubb said: New on Sophia's Blog: Understanding My Past […]

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