Yesterday after writing my last article I had an interesting experience. Firstly I experienced a sort of mental “click” – a conceptual click, as in I developed my ideas by putting them down on the screen, but also something more energetic, like an actually physical internal shift. Afterwards, that night, I had a satori experience – about twenty minutes of bliss as I managed to surrender deeply into the present moment and just feel, not think. That’s pretty much the most powerful thing I’ve experienced yet, at least since the time of my “dark night of the soul”. I’ve been having more and more of these experiences recently, but this one really stood out.
Anyway, it’s like by trying to teach these things I actually expanded my own understanding. Perhaps I was channelling the information, I don’t know. Actually I think it’s the energy component of it. Here’s the theory. All thoughts and thereby all verbal communication have both energy and content. Content is just what a computer has – a map of reality, a code. Energy is something subtler. I believe in psychic phenomena so I actually imagine it exists and could possibly be measured in KiloJules if we managed to make some really freaky experimental apparatus. But you can just call it a metaphor if you want to. Energy is like the emotional charge of the thought and is just as important as the binary code. For instance, a news report is sent over the internet by means of lots of little 1s and 0s. That’s content. The energy is demonstrated by the way the reporter speaks, the tone, the hidden motivations behind the communication, etc – though it is none of those things. It’s something like nervousness, panic, perhaps greed and deception underneath that — fear energy. If you don’t believe in psychic waves rippling through the ether to reach you then you can call it subconscious cues, but you’ll still pick up an overall impression that is not summed up in any single piece of content. The content is a medium for the energy, as well as perhaps providing practical value as a map of reality.
So the content for the article I wrote yesterday was one thing. For you it might have been new content. For me it wasn’t, but still it changed me. I think this is because of the energy factor: I was channelling my conviction and love, my intention to help transform, into the piece of work. That’s all just energy. In reading it, you are putting energy into it – there is no way of getting content without energy. By reading it you are reinforcing the importance of THIS content over other content with your attention, and are increasing its influence over your reality according to the extent you do so. In the same way the energy and desire to transform which I put out affects me too — almost as if I were one of my audience. It feels exactly like that, actually. I didn’t write this thing, it came out of me. I’m surprised and awe-inspired when I read my own writings just as well as anyone else could be.
I find it much easier to channel this energy when I’m trying to help people. I think this is just the way things work. Love energy wants to go outwards, wants to create a contribution. It can go inwards, for healing and enjoyment, but when you have an open channel, it “overflows” and spreads outwards. If you don’t let it, then you are crippling yourself so long as you intend to use love energy in your life. The alternative, of course, is fear energy, which is a rather horrible addiction. Anyway, if you are interested in cultivating naturalness, happiness or spiritual development, I think you just need to accept that human beings want to help each other — this is what we are, and it’s beautiful.
If I had known how much teaching would help me then I would have started mentoring people, talking about spirituality with people, and writing this blog a LONG time ago. In fact, I think I attribute me going insane during the lowest part of my Dark Night of the Soul to me resisting the flow of this communication, the energy of the 5th chakra. I had a theory then that what the buddhists call the “monkey mind” is just repressed communication. I actually noticed that while I was thinking hard, my tongue moved slightly as if I was trying to talk. I think internal dialogue is us taking shelter in a more pleasant scenario: being with people we love, and communicating. That’s a theory anyway. Not overly important, but interesting to consider.*
I repressed my communication because I was scared of being seen as arrogant. I have so much to give, like so many people, but I was scared of shining bright and making people insecure in comparison with me. To be able to give my gift without either being arrogant or self-defacing has been a real challenge for me, but I think I’m getting the trick of it. If you can too, I think anyone can benefit from teaching. Anyone, anyone. However far you have advanced in whatever path there is someone who needs help getting there, and helping others will always help your own development, quite apart from it being enjoyable, loving and even profitable. As Erin Pavlina says, “Everyone has a piece of the puzzle”. Don’t deny the world your gift out of fear of outshining people. If you let those whiners quietly out the back door of your reality, you’ll live in a happy, sunny place where people are happy for you to serve your part in the unfolding of a more beautiful world.
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