Hi guys, I’ve been meaning to write a post for a while now. I tried starting several posts and stopped, or even finished them but left them on my hard drive. They’re OK, but I felt I wasn’t quite getting the spontaneous connection I have going on the StevePavlina forums, a place where I have been writing a heck of a lot recently and which I think most of my readers have found me through.
I LOVE the writing I’ve been doing there, because I’m starting to get some really good feedback on the ideas I’m giving. Every so often you hear a “thankyou, you made me shift my thinking, you’ve been a real help” and I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel so damn psyched. I LOVE it.
I started out this blog… about a year ago, I think… with the vague idea of being like Steve Pavlina and earning my money by being myself. It was a start.
However, just like I was in a pretty dizzy state one year ago, I don’t think my blog was much helping anyone. I wrote a load of posts I didn’t get any comments on. (The terrible thing about being a second-rate blogger is that people don’t tell you why they don’t like your writing… they just don’t read it).
Over time… VERY gradually, but I sure as hell wasn’t giving up… I began to write a few posts people were into. It was a combination of getting through some unconscious blocks to expressing my full talent, finding out what I was writing about, and learning to connect with my readers.
Connect with you.
So this is what I’m doing now, I’m just writing ad-lib. I don’t want to premeditate my post, I just want to feel you there, on the other side of the screen, and connect with you in the present moment. In a few minutes, a few hours the first of you will find this post and read it. You’ll be feeling the same things I feel, the same energy I’m expressing. Depending on your sensitivity, we’ll be having telepathy there and then; you’ll connect with my mind directly as your attention connects with these words.
That’s all I want right now, I want to throw away all the bullshit and start a new base for my blog – connection. I just want to sit here right now and feel my new base, break down what I’ve been doing and start on a new foundation.
Your base is so important, I’ve been finding that out recently. I just came back to my parents’ house a couple of weeks ago. You might have read my story, well, my energetic defenses are in top shape now, I have a thousand loving connections and the attitude which will let me create more in an instant. I’ve forgiven my parents the mistakes they couldn’t help but make and I remembered that I love them, even when my father has an entire Berlin wall between him and any other heart — somehow, something gets through, and it feels so good to know that I have a place and a family that is basically mine, basically there, whatever happens. That’s just… basic. No wonder I felt lost without it. Life doesn’t need to be that hard.
Anyway, I’m back here, in Bilbao, starting afresh with a hell of a lot of lessons behind my belt. I’ve chosen to see life positively in the new year, remember those times when everything was beautiful – but seeing through the illusions this time, not setting myself up to get stepped on. I have a lovely indigo ladyfriend who is giving me so much support here, and I’m just thinking about how I’ll start expressing my message now. I’ve got no job, my parents are happy with me focusing on my blog full-time. I think I can go pro in a year, easily enough (3 years later: not quite…). I have so many things I want to write about. I’m thinking of finding some places to do speaking, too. I just want to get my voice heard. I want people to remember the particular energy I stand for – I don’t see it enough in the world, and it makes me sad. I hope that doesn’t sound unhumble, but that’s how I feel, and if I have something I don’t want it for myself, I want to share it.
So over to you — I’m listening. If you want to hear my perspective on anything, ask it. If you want help on any issue, write me. If you’re sad or confused, write me. If you don’t know what the fuck is going on in the world, write me. I’ve been there. I didn’t know who I was. I’ve been so lonely I went crazy. I care about you. I am not a guru but I am a very intuitive person and have a LOT of energy – and right now there’s nothing more I want than to help the world get to a state of love and inner truth.
If you are inspired, informed or catalysed to change by my articles, especially the ones I’m about to write as I get into the swing of things, consider making a donation – this is my job after all, though of course I’ll never force you to pay for my main content. I don’t know if I’ll try putting up ads later, it strikes me I want to be very selective about what marketing I expose my readers to. So for now donations are the main way I’m looking to support myself. I’ll experiment with the other options later on. Mostly now I’m trying to deliver some serious value and get to a lot of people.
I really, REALLY want to help you.
It just feels so damn good.
I love you.
I really do.
Let’s make this an unbelievable year together.