A couple of recent conversations have inspired me to write about getting grounded.
Indigos and other spiritually-inclined people tend to have a problem with groundedness. Sometimes, it can be our biggest problem.
Groundedness And Ungroundedness
Groundedness is when you’re connected to the physical world, your surroundings, the present moment, your body, your needs and what the moment requires. It means practicality and the ability to take ideas and ideology and actually make them mean something in the real world.
Ungroundedness is when you’re disconnected from these things. It can manifest itself in a kind of disconnectedness, a dizzyness (bumping into objects, forgetting what you’re doing or getting distracted easily). Or it can mean that you are incredibly impractical, having no sense of proportionality or any idea how the real world functions. Perhaps you have great ideas but can’t make them happen in the real world. Perhaps you can’t even take care of your basic needs.
In my experience ungroundedness also disconnects you from your sense of purpose. If you just don’t have an awareness of real world reality, how can you manifest a purpose in that reality? Our deeper sense of purpose comes from when we’re getting involved in reality. One task leads to the next, and we get more inspiration and more energy as we get into this path as we know we’re doing the right thing. When you can’t even start doing something practical because you’re so ungrounded, you can’t get to your purpose.
Why We Get Ungrounded
I think spiritually-inclined people get ungrounded because they are so sensitive.
Being sensitive is great. Caring is great. Caring is the only thing that can change all the stuff which is wrong with the world. Though it can be overwhelming at times.
There are so many injustices, so much hurt in this world, that someone who is sensitive doesn’t even know where to start. It just overloads our senses and we want to shut down. The automatic solution is to disconnect from reality and get ungrounded.
Why This Is A Bad Idea
This is a bad idea because it stops us being able to do anything to change things. Well, it’s a bad idea for all the reasons I’ve listed above. Ungroundedness doesn’t help us.
It’s like we’re stuck between heaven and Earth. We don’t want to live here, but we don’t want to leave, either. Something pulls us back from going that far.
But in this limbo, we can’t really live on heaven OR Earth. We’re wasting our chance to do either thing well.
How To Get Grounded
Some articles list tips for how to get grounded like “hold onto a stone or a piece of wood” or “eat something and really savour the taste”. Or even “have sex” 😀 I like that one.
These things all have some use and can be good especially when you’re having a particularly ungrounded moment and need to stabilise yourself. I don’t think they can change things on their own though. To get grounded, you need to fix the root cause. Anything else can provide temporary relief at best.
Improve Your Surroundings
The first thing you need to do is improve your immediate surroundings.
Indigos and Highly Senstive People (HSP) tend to overload and shut down when they’re surrounded by sources of negative energy, like negative people or large crowds. If you’re subjected to either of those things daily, and it affects you, then you really need to change your surroundings.
You can also improve things when your surroundings are more negative than you’d like by simply not judging them. That is, if you have a mental commentary going on about how things are so uncomfortable or so intolerable, silence it. In these cases the largest part of the discomfort often comes from our reaction towards things and not the things themselves.
Be aware of your surroundings. Be aware of them without labelling or judging.
Being ungrounded and thus less aware of what goes around you can prevent your pain. But you can also prevent it by not judging, and this way you can stay aware, and stay grounded.
Stay In The Present Moment
Exercises to remain in the present moment are important for everyone. It’s a core part of spirituality.
Do whatever you can to stay in the present moment. This will encourage grounding. If something blocks you from entering the present moment, ask yourself what that thing is and what you can do to make entering the present moment possible.
Begin At The Beginning
Impractical is wanting to do everything now, particularly the big, impressive things like saving the world.
Practical is doing what this moment calls for, and just that, right now.
The big, cool things can be done when they come up. Anything can be dealt with when the right moment to deal with it comes up. In this moment, do what this moment calls for.
If you have big plans, begin at the beginning. Do whatever the first step is. In fact, begin by being aware of the present moment and what it contains. Begin with what that calls for, in the context of your desires.
Cater To Your Personal Needs
Don’t get so swept up by the big, cool stuff you want to do that you neglect to do what you need to do to have a healthier life. If you need to get some more positive social support, go get it. If you need a more secure financial foundation for your life, go get it. If you need to just have some food and a shower maybe, go do that. Then do other stuff.
In the morning, I often want to get to work right away. But if I don’t eat, don’t shower, and don’t clear stuff up, well – I often can do stuff, sure. But I tend to disconnect from myself and reality while doing that, and all of my work and motivation suffers. Food, shower, and clearing stuff up all need to be done, and you might as well do them first, otherwise they are just going to get in the way of the other things you want to do.
Small stuff is good stuff. Enjoy it. It’s not so bad. Think of it as raking a Zen garden.
Don’t Demonise The Physical
Accept that the physical world is okay. Get used to doing stuff to support your body. Enjoy it. It can be great.
Enjoy your body. Enjoy your identity, your appearance. Enjoy your physical-world manifestations. All of these are good things.
Don’t judge or label these things as bad. Doing what you need to do to support your physical body is necessary and good. No-one can blame you for doing these things before starting out on your grand plan to save the world.
And no one can blame you for enjoying yourself, either. Life is supposed to be fun. Even if we want to help people, we’re only trying to bring about a world where we can all have fun and live in harmony. It can’t hurt to start with yourself in that.
Love The Physical
Enjoy your appearence. Enjoy hygeine, feeling fresh, looking nice. Work out your personal style.
Enjoy food. Enjoy eating healthily, savouring the feeling of lightness and energy which healthy food gives you. Enjoy eating tasty stuff. Make compromises when necessary between these two things, and also make sure to enjoy the place where they intersect. Eat slowly (I’m still working on that) and unapologetically savour the experience.
Enjoy sex. Savour it. Don’t be guilty. Get sex-positive. Do everything you want to do. Be shameless. Explore your sexuality. Maybe you’re bi. Maybe you’re kinky. Find out.
Enjoy work. Enjoy the feeling of accomplishment and the satisfaction you get from exercising your abilities, be them mental or physical. Enjoy making a mark on the physical world.
Enjoy money. Enjoy getting it for honest and positive work. Enjoy spending it, giving yourself permission to deserve everything you choose to buy. Enjoy being empowered and secure. Remember that you can help others only when you are thus empowered.
Don’t be ashamed about any of this. It doesn’t make you any less spiritual (I could argue that it makes you more spiritual, if less flashily so). It doesn’t stop you from doing your grand purpose in life. In fact, it’s the only way you can do your grand purpose in life. Being ungrounded will sentence your purpose to death.
Examine Your Escapism
If you abuse books, television, films, series, gaming, geeky obsessions, sports, sex, facebook, spirituality, etc etc in order to escape from something, examine that.
What are you trying to escape? Why does life feel so uncomfortable that you have to escape it?
The action plan from there is likely to be a combination of “Improve Your Surroundings” and “Don’t Judge” as listed above. Make better what you can, and accept what you can’t.
Sometimes our escapist activities fill up our time so much that we don’t have a chance to make a change. Perhaps, then, you’ll want to think about depriving yourself of an activity, at least temporarily.
I chose to give up Nethack for a few years because I knew it was holding me back. The game was absorbing so much of my time and giving me nothing in return.
Escapist activities can be good. You need to refresh yourself sometimes. But when they leave you feeling hollow afterwards, I think it’s when they’ve become unhealthy. Cut them out and come back to them when you can have a different relationship with them.
I still sometimes overdose on fiction or other things. I know because I feel bad afterwards, usually a feeling of being sad for no reason. I try to remember to check in with myself when my fiction consumption goes on for too long, “Am I catering to my needs? Am I honouring my sense of purpose or neglecting it right now?”
Sometimes you really want to get to the next page or the next level. Stop for a moment and just make sure that the real world is okay with that too. You can always come back to the book or the game when you’ve honoured your other, more pressing needs and desires.
Feel The Earth
Feel the Earth under you. If necessary, go to somewhere where you’re in nature and there’s real Earth under you, not concrete.
Feel it. Feel how your life force extends down below you like a root.
Go down with your awareness. Follow your root into the Earth.
Then, draw the energy up with you with a deep intake of breath.
When I do this, I feel connected to a source of immense power.
I believe this is the power which we use when we manifest our dreams and desires or set our life’s course in a certain direction. It feels very real to me, and makes me feel sure that my manifestations are going to be real too.
Don’t manifest purely from your head. I don’t think that’s very powerful at all. Without Earth energy, thoughts are like butterflies, flitting about with no weight or momentum. With Earth energy, you can really create something. That’s how I see it.
Fly, And Live
Someone told me once, “You don’t want to live. You want to fly.”
It was rather true. I wanted to fly, fly, fly, and didn’t want pesky real life getting in the way.
But there’s another way. Instead of flying out of real life, you can fly within it.
Feel your power in this plane. Feel how much you can truly soar.
If you can’t, then work on that. Get powerful. Find that feeling of being able to create whatever you desire.
Tackle all the things you want to run away from. Face them all down, change some, reinterpret the others. Find that place within yourself where you no longer need to run or resist life.
If you have dreams, start working on them now. Don’t leave them in the realm of dreams. Make them start happening. Then real life can be everything you wanted it to be.
Don’t leave something in your life that you hate, that you just can’t stand. Change it, or reinterpret it. If you leave it there, you’re going to feel chronically disempowered. And then, of course, you’ll want to escape, disconnect from life, give up. Medicate your pain. Run, hide.
But that won’t solve anything. Tackle your problems, and take action on your dreams and goals. That’s the only way life on Earth is ever going to be tolerable. (Let alone good. It can be good. Think of that. :))
Wrapping It Up
So. I tried to list various ways of getting grounded. They’re all related, and should be practised together.
Getting grounded is a path. I’ve been on it for a long while, and I’m still seeing improvements.
I think it’s best to see it that way: as a path. Don’t think of groundedness as a few exercises you do and then go about your day. Groundedness is a part of you which you develop and get better at over time – over a long period of time. For many of us, particularly for spiritually inclined people, it’s one of our great life lessons.
We often resist groundedness or judge it, particularly at first. That’s to be expected; it’s part of the structure which kept our negative patterns in place. Push through that resistance at your own place. Experience will eventually show you how good, how pleasurable, and how right it is to be grounded. How much power and wholeness it provides you. Keep pushing your comfort zone and train your ability to get and stay grounded like a muscle. You’ll get better and better as time goes on.
Groundedness will give you new perspectives, make you live in different ways. Perhaps some old ideas will become less interesting as you gain a sense of proportionality. That’s okay. Integrate the new perspectives, adjust your path, get used to it, and when you’re ready, push a little further forward in your groundedness training.
I’m only just beginning to discover the power of Earth energy. I think when we master it, it brings us a huge sense of power and surity. I think this is an excellent thing to cultivate.
We’re supposed to be powerful. That’s the truth. Embrace it, and let’s change the world together.