You might have noticed that I’ve changed my tagline.
It was previously “Indigo Children And Adults, Conscious Living And Saving The World.”
Now it is: “Indigo Children & Adults, Spirituality, Personal Growth And Activism.”
Why the change?
Starting with the least important issue first: I was beginning to get tired of the tongue-in-cheek “Saving The World.” Partly because it came off as kind of boistrous, and I don’t identify with that so much now. Since I became Sophia (I’m transsexual) I’ve found I have a more gentle outward persona.
Besides that, I should have known that a joke was never going to stand the test of time. How many humourous T-shirts do you still wear a year after buying them? Not many.
Then, there’s the new element of “Spirituality”.
Spirituality is one of the things I think most about, and I recently realised that it was also very important for me to write about.
The trouble is, I’d felt scared to write about it for a long time, probably because I had this strange complex where I thought I wasn’t “enlightened” enough to give others spiritual advice. I’m glad I got over that, because recently I’ve written several spirituality-oriented posts which I think are genuinely excellent.
Actually, the floodgates opened when I decided on my tagline change a couple of weeks ago. With that, I was symbolically accepting that I really was good enough to write about spirituality — and I finally started really letting myself do so.
I still have a lot of ideas for more posts on this topic. I’m going to try and get them all out in the coming weeks and months.
Finally, there’s “Personal Growth”.
This was a big one for me.
Basically,… I’ve spent about four years in denial that my website is a Steve Pavlina clone.
There. I said it.
I was inspired to make a blog by Steve Pavlina, who showed me that you could live free while doing something that was true to who you are.
The trouble was, many other people were inspired to do exactly the same thing by him. And I saw how most of those blogs were absolutely transparent attempts to earn money and win themselves some freedom.
Not at all like what I was doing, then…
I saw how those blogs would almost invariably start out with great ambitions and almost invariably crash and burn. People just wanted quick solutions, and would quit as soon as they realised it wouldn’t be that easy.
…And, I also just couldn’t stand just how much they were clones of Steve Pavlina.
Saying the same sort of stuff, in the same way.
So I wanted to differentiate myself. I wanted to be more than “just another personal development blog”.
And so I went through so many different brandings it’s not even funny.
To be fair, I was finding my voice, and my aversion to being associated with Steve Pavlina probably wasn’t the only reason I didn’t realise I was making a personal development blog. But, yeah, it was a big reason.
And so I was basically writing a whole load of personal growth advice for years without quite realising I had a personal growth blog.
So now that I’m not in denial anymore, perhaps it shouldn’t be surprising that I feel like I can write better articles now. I don’t have to do some sort of doublethink to write anymore. And I don’t need to sabotage myself in order to avoid, you know, people seeing me as a personal development author.
This all seems rather stupid. But then again, from what I can see, internal blocks like this are what stand in pretty much everyone’s way to getting what they want. …Unless they don’t want anything at all, of course.
I knew myself that internal blocks were what were holding me back with my website for some time. Why? Because I knew the best way of getting traffic for my website was guest posting on other sites, and I just wasn’t doing that.
I didn’t beat myself up though. I didn’t try and plow through my internal blocks like the Terminator. I know some people say you should do that. I don’t like that approach myself though.
You see, I felt somehow that I needed to get comfortable with my blog and my writing before I shared it more fully with the world. And that’s what I was doing.
The block might have seemed like an enemy, but I think really it was an ally in disguise. I think blocks usually go away best when you listen to their subtle message, rather than when you try to headbutt them out of existence.
You can try the latter approach too of course. But I think it’s nicer and more “organic” somehow to do it the way I did.
If I were to give some advice on dealing with self sabotage I would say this:
I think the important thing is to know that it’s possible to get what you want to get in life. When you know that, then the question becomes, why don’t I have what I want in life? – and self sabotage can become more evident.
Resolving self sabotage isn’t absolutely immediate from that point, of course. I think it’s a case of gently but persistently pushing forward with your desires, and working through your issues as they come up.
Stay honest with yourself. It can be more comfortable to think that you don’t want something or that it is impossible to have it, than to think that you still have work to do and that you’re scared. I think if you stay aware of what you want and make continuous, gentle pressure towards that end, it’s pretty inevitable that you’ll get there in time.
That’s my faith, and I think it’s fair to say it’s my experience so far.
One more experience I’d like to share.
Since changing my tagline, something I’ve noticed is that I can answer the question, “What is your blog about?” much more comfortably now.
It used to be an inevitable bind I got into. First someone would ask, “What do you do?” as a way of making small talk. I would say I was a blogger. Then, of course, it’d be: “What is your blog about?”. The answer was always a struggle.
I would start with something like, “Well, I write about what I think about,” and generally lean towards describing it as a personal development blog without actually using those words. The description wasn’t so different to what I would make nowadays, but my nervousness about it was palpable.
Now I can say cleanly, “I write about personal growth, spirituality and activism.” It comes off nice and professional, like.
And so, well, I feel more comfortable with my own mission statement now. And, by extension, I feel more comfortable with seeing a future in which I’m being successful with my mission. It’s a good feeling.
So that was me on my website’s tagline and self sabotage in general. What about you? Are you holding back on something which you want to make happen? Can you identify self sabotage there somewhere? And, if you can, what do you think the hidden message of that block is?
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