September 29, 2017

What A Relationship Is

A relationship is not an object, it is an experience. It cannot be held, gained or lost, just as you cannot hold a song. A song begins when it begins, and ends when it ends. It is valuable, but has no substance. It is made of moments. Related The Journey Of The Great Heart Warriors
January 16, 2017

Anger And Nonviolent Communication

I had a conversation about dealing with anger yesterday and found that my views on the topic have developed, or at least, I seem to be better at explaining them. Interestingly, though I still haven’t read the book Nonviolent Communication, I’ve been told that my philosophy seems to match its ideas closely. I’d like to read it, but I like the idea of writing down my ideas first, so that they are not influenced by […]
January 8, 2016

Social Needs

I haven’t posted in a long time. That’s because my life has been a mess. I’ve had serious problems in my romantic relationship, as well as other forms of instability (financial and in my living situation). I’m blocked as I write this; I’m not sure how much of my relationship problems I should describe. I need a bit of that for context, but what I really want to do in this post is detail the personal […]
September 19, 2015

Personal Update, And The Berlin “Three Meeting Rule”

It’s been more than a month since I last posted so somehow I feel that the best way to ease back into writing would be with a personal update. Some time… I guess a month ago? I was hit by triple misfortune: my landlord gave me an ultimatum to move out, I lost the job I was going to start at the beginning of September, and my handbag was stolen. In that bag was my passport, among […]
July 29, 2015

Anger In The Context Of Social Justice Activism

In my mind I’ve come to conceptualise this blog as skirting the line between the fields of personal development and social justice. This didn’t really come out of any very intentional choice; I just gravitated towards it because those two subjects are the ones I spend the most time thinking about. Personal development was the first field I got into, social justice the second; and now that I’ve gone quite deep into both, it’s interesting to […]
January 3, 2015

Activist Anger: A Spiritual Perspective On Social Justice

I’ve been into Social Justice for the last few years, and have a lot to comment about this school of thought and the subculture that has built up around it. There’s a lot that is good about Social Justice; it has given me a framework with which to think about social oppressions in a more nuanced way, and hopefully with which to combat them. It has helped me take my experiences as a trans person […]
October 31, 2014

What To Do When Someone Is Crying, Part II

This is “part II” because I have a 6-year old article about the same topic buried in the unvisited depths of my blog. But I wanted to give the topic another try, using the emotional intelligence I’ve learnt in these not insignificant six years. A lot of the time, when I’m crying (I’m a good crier) I find that people react to me in problematic ways. It depends on the person, of course, but I […]
October 20, 2014

How To Heal Yourself Emotionally

I’ve done a LOT of work on emotional self-healing. I started to feel like something was wrong with my life when I was fourteen or fifteen, and started searching for answers. They were answers to an undefined question, a question that I can only describe as a wordless angst, a need to fill a void. It took me a long time to find productive ways of channelling this impulse. I took a lot of false […]
April 20, 2014

Fulfilling Our Social Needs

When I was about 13 and starting to realise how messed up I was, my uncle who is a therapist introduced me to some concepts from Transactional Analysis. I can’t remember the exact things he said, but the gist was that people needed to be with people. Strangely, that was some kind of revelation to me at the time. I think I received mixed messages about this from my parents and society, but I know […]