November 25, 2017

Feeling Divinity

I had a vision of what one might call Divinity. I’ve never felt very comfortable with the word God. It’s too associated with religion, and with absurd and horrible interpretations of what divinity could be. I’ve tried out different alternatives to this word, including the popular “The Universe”, but recently I settled on “Divinity”. I like “Divinity” because it is an uncountable noun, where “God” is a countable noun. If God can be counted, if […]
November 4, 2017

More Tips For Dealing With Suicidal Feelings

The usual disclaimer: if you think your life is in danger, get help. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. That said, I’ve been having some suicidal feelings recently and have taken the opportunity to work with them. I knew I was safe while doing this, firstly because the feelings were not as strong as they have been, and secondly even in my most intensely suicidal moments I’ve had the clarity that I […]
September 29, 2017

What A Relationship Is

A relationship is not an object, it is an experience. It cannot be held, gained or lost, just as you cannot hold a song. A song begins when it begins, and ends when it ends. It is valuable, but has no substance. It is made of moments. Related The Journey Of The Great Heart Warriors
August 17, 2017

I Experienced Enlightenment For An Hour On MDMA

About eight months ago, I took the drug MDMA and entered the state of enlightenment for one hour. It has taken me this long but I finally feel ready to write about it. Predictable fears come up. Some might think that I’m terribly arrogant or crazy to say that I’ve been enlightened, others might even more scarily not think that and look to me for spiritual guidance. There is danger for both student and teacher […]
June 25, 2017

My Experience With Slade Roberson’s The Money Shift

Some time ago, I started putting serious energy into manifesting money. (By manifest, I mean using metaphysical concepts to generate money in my life). Soon after, I found Slade Roberson’s “The Money Shift” and felt that it was what I needed to move forward. Backing up my intuitive feeling, I saw my synchronistic number three times in the sales pitch for the book. “The Money Shift” is a no-frills self help book that outlines a […]
June 18, 2017

Spiritual Parasites

I finally feel ready to write about what I call “spiritual parasites“, or what are more widely known as “Negative Attached Entities (NEAs)”. When I didn’t know what to call them I googled for “spiritual parasites”, so maybe by using this as my title I can help others find this information. Spiritual parasites or negative attached entities are spirits which lodge in your body or aura and attempt to feed off your energy. Many people […]
June 15, 2017

I Made OpenCola: A Slightly Updated Recipe

So for a slight change of pace here I’ll just go ahead and post a cola recipe. I decided to make my own cola because I’m a big fan of the drink, but want to avoid both phosphoric acid and caffeine. I noticed that cola with phosphoric acid has a bad effect on me: a slight discomfort in my stomach and a feeling of lowered mood, and I’ve suspected it has contributed to actual stomach […]
June 3, 2017

How To Not Think (Sort Of)

I’ve long been convinced about the value of Presence, a.k.a. mindfulness, and have worked to cultivate it in my life. Recently I had a breakthrough in my self work (which I may or may not write about in a future blog post, depending on inspiration) and I currently feel qualified to say a few things about the topic. In Presence and mindfulness teachings, as well as in some meditation teachings (which intend to cultivate mindfulness […]
April 23, 2017

My Fifth Trans Birthday

It’s now been five years since I started living as female, despite the role I was born into. There’s not so much to write anymore about the topic. I still have to finish my voice training and hair removal, which are both at a comfortably good stage but need a bit more work. And I still have yet to get genital surgery, and don’t really want to think about how long it will take as […]
April 22, 2017

Welcome Home, Wanderer

My new book, Welcome Home, Wanderer, is now available! This book is essentially a self help guide for those who identify as indigo, crystal, or similar. These people are “aliens on a mission”, intensely idealistic souls who often find it hard to come to terms with the way things work on this planet. As “indigo” is an inexact term, I also encourage use of the term “Wanderer” in my book. You can read more about […]
April 19, 2017

Psychoactive Cacao

This may sound surprising to you but here it is: Cacao can be a drug, and I personally find it to be one of the most useful drugs for personal and spiritual development I’ve ever encountered. The secret is this: for cacao to be a drug, it needs to be raw, something that doesn’t normally happen. Cacao made for food consumption is always treated with heat. Online and in health food stores, you can find […]
March 15, 2017

Unpublishing My Book “Stubborn Soul”

After two years, I’m choosing now to unpublish my self published book “Stubborn Soul”. Stubborn Soul was an autobiographical book detailing my harsh and unusual life until I was 18 years old. I suppose my decision might seem strange. Why remove your book, even if it doesn’t sell well, when it doesn’t take energy to maintain and occasionally gives you a bit of money here and there? Such reasoning held me back for some time, […]
March 7, 2017

Choosing The Label “Lesbian” Over Bisexual

I’ve identified with the label bisexual for about six years with different levels of certainty. Sometimes I’ve been very unsure and have strongly entertained the idea that I might be lesbian instead. Sometimes I’ve been relatively comfortable in my identity. I’ve almost always been clear on the fact that I like women more then men, but that wouldn’t necessarily mean I’m not bisexual; bisexual people with preferences either way do exist. Strangely, after my longest […]
February 26, 2017

Non Violent Self Motivation

I’ve written before about my work developing what I call non violent self motivation. I’ve called it “unjobbing” in the past – a parallel to “unschooling” which refers to a non violent form of parenting – but I think this name is clearer and also has the benefit of not requiring you to understand the term “unschooling”. For those who haven’t read about it before, non violent self motivation means ideally never forcing yourself to […]
February 16, 2017

The Power of Soft Habits

It’s crept up on me, but I seem to have become more healthy: I’m usually having a big fruit smoothie for breakfast every morning, I’m usually swimming once a week, and I usually meditate every day. I’m also now trying to add a new habit to the list: one big salad every day. We still have to see if that one sticks, but I’m hopeful. I know for many people this would not be a […]
January 24, 2017

Eliminating Distractions From Facebook

The night before last, I made a radical change to how I use Facebook, removing distracting elements and focusing it entirely on my real-life social life. Making a change like this may not seem like a big deal, but Facebook had been consuming very large quantities of my time, so the way I relate with it as a tool has a big significance to my life as a whole. Some years back I attempted a […]
January 16, 2017

Anger And Nonviolent Communication

I had a conversation about dealing with anger yesterday and found that my views on the topic have developed, or at least, I seem to be better at explaining them. Interestingly, though I still haven’t read the book Nonviolent Communication, I’ve been told that my philosophy seems to match its ideas closely. I’d like to read it, but I like the idea of writing down my ideas first, so that they are not influenced by […]
January 5, 2017

Self Care With Green Smoothies

A while ago I posted about getting a high power blender. I mostly planned to use it for food-nerdy things, such as making nut butters and obscure gluten free flours, but surprisingly (to me) I found myself using it every day for its primary intended purpose: green smoothies. I used to try to follow a low fat raw food diet (specifically the 80/10/10 diet, if you want to look it up). I failed with the […]
December 28, 2016

How Industry Responds To You Giving Up Meat

I have sometimes heard the argument against veganism that even if you don’t buy meat, the shops will still stock the same amount and what you don’t buy will just get thrown away. I do see where this is coming from; there is a lot of waste in the food industry and probably one person no longer buying meat from a shop will not cause them to adjust the amounts they order. However, I do […]
December 9, 2016

Getting A Bianco Forte Blender

Basically ever since I heard of it, so I guess at least since 5 years ago, I wanted a high power blender. The most well known one is the Vitamix, which costs 700€. That wasn’t easy for me to pay, so I’ve spent a long time wanting but not having. Recently, I got annoyed at it always being “later” and started thinking “what if I could now?”. Long story short, I found an equivalent blender, […]